# The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football: The Nfl's Greatest Players, Plays, Scandals, and Screw-Ups (Plus Stuff We Totally Made Up) - Hardcover

by **Dan Patrick** (Author), **Joel H. Cohen** (Author)

**Celebrated sports commentator Dan Patrick and comedy writer Joel H. Cohen team up with some of America's greatest\* comedy writers to tell you everything and nothing about America's sport!\*\***

_\*"greatest" is actually just a bad type-o for "mediocre"_  
_\*\*No, not darts, we mean pro football. (book on professional darts coming never)_

Did you know . . .

Tom Brady is a very good quarterback. (True, but only according to statistics and accomplishments.)

The formation of the NFL took place in an auto dealership. The founders started an institution and also were convinced to buy rust-proofing for it. (Half true.)

The Carolina Panthers originated as a book club but turned to football when they couldn't agree on which John Grisham novel to read. (Maybe true. Research isn't our thing.)

_The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football_ is a love letter to America's favorite game, full of highlights, history, great plays and players, scandals, Super Bowls, and a series of lies, idiotic theories, baseless conspiracies, a diet that may kill you and, of course, a poorly-written haiku. The book takes the credibility Dan Patrick has built up over a stellar broadcast career (ESPN, NBC Sports, something called "Peacock") and risks it all with these falsehoods, half-truths, and even some quarter-truths.

This parade of inanity is co-written by Joel H. Cohen (3 Emmys, several cavities due to poor flossing) and includes contributions from certifiably hilarious people, such as:

-   Andy Richter (**_Late Night with Conan O'Brien_**)
-   Brian Kelley (**_The Simpsons, Saturday Night Live_**)
-   Chuck Tatham (**_Modern Family, Arrested Development, How I Met Your Mother_**)
-   Mike Price (**_The Simpsons, F is for Family_**)
-   Donick Cary (**_Silicon Valley, New Girl_**)
-   Christine Nangle (**_Inside Amy Schumer, Saturday Night Live_**)
-   Broti Gupta (**_The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Simpsons_**)
-   Rob Cohen (**_Saturday Night Live, Big Bang Theory_**)

  
Illustrated in two colors (black and white are colors, right?) _The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football_ informs (a little), entertains (a lot), and is the perfect gift to taunt the Jets fans in your life.

### Author Biography

**Joel H. Cohen** was born and raised in Calgary, Canada. In addition to writing several films, two books, and complaints to newspapers about inaccurate horoscopes, he's been a writer/producer on _The Simpsons_ for the last 21 years. Joel has won three Emmy Awards, three Writers Guild Awards, and, one time, a glass donkey in a game of bingo.

**Dan Patrick** is a Hall-of-Fame sports broadcaster and host of _The Dan Patrick Show_ (1M+ listeners, 371 affiliates), a veteran of ESPN, NBC Sports, and the three-time host of the Olympics.

**Number of Pages:** 240

**Dimensions:** 0.79 x 9.06 x 7.17 IN

**Publication Date:** September 05, 2023

## Details

- **Price:** 29.95 USD
- **Vendor:** Books by splitShops
- **Type:** Books
- **Tags:** Books by splitShops, Shopify Collective

## Variants

| Variant | Price | Available |
|---------|-------|-----------|
| Default Title | 29.95 USD | In stock |

## Images

- The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football: The Nfl's Greatest Players, Plays, Scandals, and Screw-Ups (Plus Stuff We Totally Made Up) - Hardcover

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> Updated: 2026-07-23