# Choosing Us: Marriage and Mutual Flourishing in a World of Difference - Hardcover

by **Gail Song Bantum** (Author), **Brian Bantum** (Author)

For years, people have asked Gail Song Bantum and Brian Bantum to reveal the secret to their marriage as a multiracial Christian couple, each with a high-profile ministry calling. This book reveals the lessons, mistakes, and principles that have helped the Bantums navigate race, family history, and gender dynamics in their twenty-plus years of marriage, while inspiring readers to pursue mutual flourishing in their marriages and relationships.  
  
Marriage is about more than constant bliss or unending sacrifice, say the Bantums. It's about exploring your own story, seeing the other for who they are (even as they change), and being flexible in discovering how those differences and stories come alive in new ways when joined together. It's the discovery of life in the gaps and the mysteries that emerge when we live in mutuality, believing that fullness is possible for each.  
  
_Choosing Us_ reflects the realities and demands of modern marriage and respects the callings and ambitions of both partners. It shows that marriage is about choosing the other's flourishing on a daily basis, amid differences and even systemic obstacles, to build a relationship that thrives and reflects the kingdom of God.

### Back Jacket

**For Couples Committed to Building Progressive, Equitable Relationships  
**  
As a multiracial Christian couple, each with a unique ministry calling, Gail Song Bantum and Brian Bantum have learned to navigate race, family history, and gender dynamics in their twenty-plus years of marriage. In _Choosing Us_, they reveal the lessons, mistakes, and secrets of their marriage to inspire readers to pursue mutual flourishing in their own marriages and relationships.  
  
"_Choosing Us_ is the long-awaited resource for couples committed to building progressive, equitable relationships where both partners have highly demanding careers. It is not a how-to guide to replicating Gail and Brian's relationship. It is a source of wisdom for creating your own."  
\--**Chanequa Walker-Barnes**, clinical psychologist and author of _I Bring the Voices of My People_  
  
"While there are countless marriage books, few focus on cultivating egalitarian unions where couples grow together and individually fulfill their created purpose. _Choosing Us_ achieves this and equips readers to love selflessly, even when it's counterintuitive and inconvenient. This book will bless your marriage and empower you to love your partner more authentically."  
\--**Dominique DuBois Gilliard**, author of _Subversive Witness_ and _Rethinking Incarceration_  
  
"I'm so grateful to Gail and Brian for sharing their story with us. In these honest pages about marriage, choice, family, and self-discovery, you'll find room for your own stories. This book is a gift for those seeking to create flourishing marriages of mutuality."  
\--**Sarah Bessey**, author of _Jesus Feminist_ and editor of the _New York Times_ bestseller _A Rhythm of Prayer  
  
_"Tender, true, and practical, _Choosing Us_ is a gift. I'm so grateful to Gail and Brian for opening their stories and hearts and offering this abundance of wisdom hard-won through their many years of marriage."  
\--**Jeff Chu**, cocurator, Evolving Faith; author of _Does Jesus Really Love Me? A Gay Christian's Pilgrimage in Search of God in America  
  
_"Do yourself and your marriage a favor. Read this book."  
\--**Kathy Khang**, author of _Raise Your Voice: Why We Stay Silent and How to Speak Up_

### Author Biography

**Gail Song Bantum** is lead pastor at Quest Church and has created four mentoring groups nationally for women of color leaders. A nationally known speaker on topics of justice, leadership, and mentoring, she has spoken at Why Christian?, Evolving Faith, Christian Community Development Association, and the Proctor Children's Defense Fund Conference, among others.  
  
**Brian Bantum** (PhD, Duke University) writes and speaks on the intersections of identity, race, and gender. He is the Neal F. and Ila A. Fisher Professor of Theology at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary, a contributing editor for the _Christian Century_, and the author of _The Death of Race: Building a New Christianity in a Racial World_ and _Redeeming Mulatto: A Theology of Christian Hybridity_.  
  
The Bantums have three children and live in Seattle, Washington.

**Number of Pages:** 160

**Dimensions:** 0.79 x 8.58 x 5.75 IN

**Publication Date:** March 01, 2022

## Details

- **Price:** 21.99 USD
- **Vendor:** Books by splitShops
- **Type:** Books
- **Tags:** Books by splitShops, Shopify Collective

## Variants

| Variant | Price | Available |
|---------|-------|-----------|
| Default Title | 21.99 USD | In stock |

## Images

- Choosing Us: Marriage and Mutual Flourishing in a World of Difference - Hardcover

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