# Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear - Hardcover

by **Carl Hiaasen** (Author), **Roz Chast** (Illustrator)

**This is _Oh, the Places You'll_ **Never** _Go_\--the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it.**

"This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning."  
So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to warn them about their precarious paths forward than Carl Hiaasen? The answer, after reading _Assume the Worst,_ is: Nobody.  
And who better to illustrate--and with those illustrations, expand upon and cement Hiaasen's cynical point of view--than Roz Chast, best-selling author/illustrator and National Book Award winner? The answer again is easy: Nobody.  
Following the format of Anna Quindlen's commencement address (_Being Perfect_) and George Saunders's commencement address (_Congratulations, by the way_), the collaboration of Hiaasen and Chast might look typical from the outside, but inside it is anything but.  
This book is bound to be a classic, sold year after year come graduation time. Although it's also a good gift for anyone starting a job, getting married, or recently released from prison. Because it is not just funny. It is, in its own Hiaasen way, extremely wise and even hopeful. Well, it might not be full of hope, but there are certainly enough slivers of the stuff in there to more than keep us all going.

### Author Biography

CARL HIAASEN was born and raised in Florida. He is the author of fourteen previous novels, including the best sellers _Bad Monkey_, _Lucky You, Nature Girl, Razor Girl, Sick Puppy, Skinny Dip, Star Island_, and five best-selling children's books, _Chomp, Flush, Hoot, Scat,_ and _Skink_. His most recent work of nonfiction is _Dance of the Reptiles_, a collection of his columns from _The Miami Herald_.

ROZ CHAST grew up in Brooklyn. Her cartoons began appearing in _The New Yorker_ in 1978, where she has since published more than one thousand. She wrote and illustrated, most recently, _Going Into Town;_ the #1 _New York Times_ best seller _Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?,_ a National Book Critics Circle Award and Kirkus Prize winner and a finalist for the National Book Award; _What I Hate: From A to Z;_ and her cartoon collections _The Party, After You Left_ and _Theories of Everything._

**Number of Pages:** 64

**Dimensions:** 0.7 x 7.1 x 5.1 IN

**Illustrated:** Yes

**Publication Date:** April 10, 2018

## Details

- **Price:** 15.95 USD
- **Vendor:** Books by splitShops
- **Type:** Books
- **Tags:** Books by splitShops, Shopify Collective

## Variants

| Variant | Price | Available |
|---------|-------|-----------|
| Default Title | 15.95 USD | In stock |

## Images

- Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear - Hardcover

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